Chaos whirls around you. Boxes upon boxes are stacked, and in my world, somewhat “carefully” labeled. You can’t find anything. Did you pack your husband’s favorite kitchen knife in the kitchen box, or did you create the cardinal sin and pack it in the bathroom box.
You look across the room in terror as they are digging in box after box after box looking for what you would call, “that silly knife.” I mean, is the knife even important- we’ve got bigger fish to fry here.
Moving is hard. Moving alone is harder. Moving as a couple is hardest.
Let me introduce the 3 Tips For Couples To Avoid Conflict When Moving:
- Keep it, sell it, trash it
- Create A Blueprint
- 48 Hour Test Drive
T-Shirts Should Not Smell Like Rotten Cheese
You may laugh, but I guarantee that some of you reading this have that one special piece of furniture or maybe even a little knick-knack that you so dearly love, that if push came to shove you might consider uttering the “d” word if your partner talks about throwing it away.
Word to the wise, don’t ever use the “d” word.
A friend of mine thought she had so carefully planned her move so that her husband would be heading to the new place a few hours before her. She had hidden all of those crazy torn t-shirts from his college days, his favorite beer mug that was stained and chipped and a few other of his prized possessions. When he left she scurried around the house pulling them one by one from their secret hiding places and placing them into their new home- the big bad trash can. With her pulse racing, she had gathered up the last few items and was on the way out to the trash can when, you guessed it, he showed up and caught her red-handed.
Guilty as charged. Let the argument ensue.
Makes me thing of this awesome video, “Every Argument Every Couple Ever Has Ever.”
This brings me to Tip #1: Keep it, Sell It, Trash It- [Tweet “Create a couple’s non-negotiable list- keep, sell or trash before you move. #everydayfinance”] This is where you list that tattered t-shirt that smells like rotten cheese that you so dearly love and will not part with. That is cool- you have yours, I have mine.
Then, decide what you will keep (obvious), sell (open area for conflict) or trash (wide-open for some gnarly conflict if you are not careful).
Here is a chance to pull out your cash creative skills. Sell it is a great alternative to trash it. With Ebay, Craigslist and heck, even with Facebook, you can get rid of some trash that might end up being someone else’s treasure for some cold hard cash. An extra $50 or $100 is a bonus prize if you ask me.
Take that cash and go buy a bottle of champagne and treat your honey to a nice dinner out on the first night in the new place. You will need it, especially if you still can not find that favorite knife!
You Had Me At Garage
Less than a year into our marriage, we decided to move 50 miles away from our beloved beach house. This was the first time we found a place and gave it two thumbs up together. Luckily, we have very similar taste, and our “what we want” list was full of things that might not seem like luxuries, but to us they were ever so much.
Garage- to store all our stuff…yes, we are those people with 5 Christmas boxes and a slue of other “we just might need that one day” stuff.
Garage- PARKING. What good is it to live in a place you love if you spend your days and nights aimlessly driving around in search of a place to park your car? No more- now we have a garage!
Garage- as you can see, there is a trend here. We are very easy to please.
Tip #2: Create A Blueprint– While the garage is great, we still needed to figure out where all the other stuff went- you know, the stuff we will actually sit and sleep on. Architects use blueprints to create a schematic of what a space will look like and you can do the same for your new place.
I am a TERRIBLE drawer, but it does not need to be perfect, just do your best and have fun with it. Draw your new living room and bedrooms on a blank page and then draw where the windows and doors are. Begin to draw where the pieces of furniture will go so you can see it beforehand and have those great negotiation conversations of what goes where and why.
I Love You…Just Not That Chair
It isn’t that I did not like the recliner. It is nice and matches the couch. I know it is your favorite piece of furniture- in fact if you could find a way to put it in the bathroom I would probably never see you. I just honestly do not like in its new home.
Tip #3: 48 Hour Test Drive-California, and many other states, have this great policy where you can buy a car, and if you do not like it you can actually return it in the “cooling off period.” Let us borrow that philosophy a smooth move with your honey.
Agree to disagree and put the recliner where you want it. We can try it for 48 hours and if I still hate it, let’s find plan B. (I’m not sure there was a plan b other than I was to fall in love with it.)
Sometimes you have to get reacquainted with your furniture in the new place. Introduce yourself again. Soak in its beauty. Take a nap on the couch. Take that 48 hour test drive to the limit.
You can successfully survive a move as a couple. Just use these tips and you will be golden. Break in sounds of happy couple’s rejoicing everywhere!
Because we are talking about moving, here are some great moving hacks you can use: